Go with the flow.......

"li,if kau nak naik lexus tu,kau tekan brake then engage start button.Other than that,sume almost similar tu camry".I must admit I was a little bit shocked.Coz it was something I wasnt expecting from the man who insya-ALLAH will be my father-in-law.Driving his car has always been a privilege,never an entitlement, as some would rather refer to it as.Knowing that I was even allowed to be near the lexus has brought a huge grin on my face.You should have seen it b.And yes,I was that same boy who crashed his 2nd car,burning a 12k hole in his pocket.Therefore,I am truly blessed.I lost my job due to retrenchenment,he bailed me out.....again.Thanks to him,I am once again employed,contibuting once again to the country's economy but most importantly,saving me from a dry spell that threatened my career.I was devastated,dejected,almost feeling unwanted by the working class.Isolated myself from friends,literally avoiding them althogh it seems quite obvious at times when we bump into each other.Dodging the sensitive question"keje mane kau skarang".I am indebted.I truly am.Alhamndullilah.I am happily employed with UMW(United Motor Works) dealing with forklift repair.Yup.Same old story.He bailed me out.A man I refer to as general because the aura I feel in his presence.Something similar to what I felt when I saw higher ranking officers in the army.A man of very few words.A man whose actions says it all.I dont speak to him often.In fact,its countable.haha.But i guess there are many ways for him to show that he is finally accepting me into the family.A lengthy conversation is definitely not it.

6 years and counting...........

b,I cannot believe u actually posted what i msg u ah b.Thanks b.Thanks for allowing strangers a sneak preview of what kind of person I really am.Potraying myself as someone who does not give a s*** when it comes to relationship is obviously failing.yup.we lasted this long.Kudos gerl B and A.Till now I still cannot believe thats what we call each other when ego just stood rooted on the ground,refusing to budge.What a world of difference between u and me.Polar opposites.U know why Im still here b?Yes,our views may differ but our objectives point to the same direction,if not,close.I still have the thesaurus we first boght together for myself coz of what I would label as 1 of the hilarious reason 1 could ever come up with."B,i dont really understand MOST of the few bombastic words u use and so Im buying myself a dictionary"haha.Inevitable.I realised then how significant it is to be able to convey your message across,and feel even more confident than you ever will be.I mean its not that its super perfect ,but at the very least,Its way better than my entire tertiary years combined.Hahaha.Yup.thats how bad it was.In retrospect,I admire us for having gone through what we have been through.Procrastination has been totally ommited from my memory.I mean,yah,at times but it has reasonably minimised.Never have I thought We could have gone this far.Its not that I dont trust u b.Its just me.Im afraid of screwing up.But knowing u'll be there every step along the way somehow spurred me on to go beyond my abilities,abilities that I never thought existed.Books?Novels?these were foreign to me but guess what,u got me hooked on "kite Runner" ah b.I would have died of boredom reading Enid Blyton(not sure whether I got the author's name right),what more Khaled Hosseini.Quality supercedes Quantity.Hmmm.........Finally,Those three words are starting to fall in the right places...b,how?leh jadi author tak?

Liverpool All The Way..........haha

A less scintillating,convincing display from Liverpool last weekend but I guess its relief watching them clinched the win.Like what I told the woman,"They need every Liverpoolians support if they were to win the title".Haha.Its not gonna be easy though but it worth hoping this time round coz they really have a great chance.Met up with part of the ex starbucks crew.In retrospect,Its amazing how majority have changed.haha.We were so gullible.naive,reckless,etc then.It feels de ja vu man............Its been approximately 6 mths since I last smoked.yay......thanks b.Never ever could have done it without u.Swear.I guess whether or not u changed as a person very much depends on you.Your peers are there to guide,spur you on,motivate you,etc.Ultimately its up to you.Friends can sway your perception.I agree.But you choose who to follow,who to look upon as a role model.I would consider myself as someone whou could have gone either way if not for the timely intervention of a spesial someone.I am proud of who I am today and till this very day,I never fail to ask myself what if I had chosen the other path.........

why does it bother me anyway...........

Confession........If I were your friend...I would have no qualms about going up to your father for a job.But i'm not.I mean obviously there is a certain expectation from me.I certainly dont want to be that person who quits even before trying.And I guess outsider's perception of me does matter....... a lot in fact....haha...12K b...remember?And he didnt even utter a word of disappointment.....I mean I would.Coz its not $12 b..$12k.I am forever indebted.....I hope a few more years of chauffering your mum and you will make up for the damage...I hope...haha.....Just kidding b..Honestly,I dont mind driving a camry b....Who doesnt...12k?What was i thinking bodoh.....(and I can hear u thinking,he wasnt obviously in your head......swear)Me and the general had a decent conversation recently...hmm..It went well except for the fact that he kept turning his head everywhere else except my direction and so,on many occassions I was like huh?.......damn hilarious...haha...

ok.Now Im really pissed off

What did I not do right?I mean,my advice fell on deaf ears whereas all I was trying to do was to prepare them for the many2 more years to come.I blatantly expressed my discomfort whey they went for a shopping spree.I agree its not my money but at the very least,use it sparingly coz God knows whats in it for them a few years down the road.Dont get me wrong.I hope and pray it will be a happy ending but I doubt so.At the end of the day,touchwood,if anything goes wrong,ill be the scapegoat.It happened before and at this rate,It will happen again.

For instance.........my brother...

I meant well when I told my mum getting him a bike was really a bad idea.....WHY?
For goodness sake..hes not working.And yes.they bought him a bike whereas I had to work my ass off to get 1 myself......Ill make this a brief 1...What got me really pissed off was the fact that they are going to repair his bike which cost about $1200 instead of letting him fend for himself,be independent,find as solution as to how they can meet in between.I mean they are spoonfeeding him and Im afraid he will get used to it.And eventually,ill be the the one to clean up the mess.Values are very important and that is what I want to inculcate in bro's head but bailing him out every single time he falls is not helping.....On top of repairing the bike,He will get a new spray paint job for his bike.Wow.It got me asking myself.....I guess he must be doing somthing right to be enjoying all the privileges......He is so different from me....different.Yes,....maybe my parents didnt have money then but that certainly does not give them the excuse/reason to start splurging on him just becoz or maybe they felt bad about not being fiancially able then.....That is obviously wrong............wrong.............

Kudos Liverpool...............

Man who?..haha...Double win over Manchester United was just pre-icing on the cake before they are eventually declared champions.haha......To all the the Liverpool fans out there...You'll never walk alone....sweet revenge.Goals galore....It could have been more though.hmm.Its all worth it.never had doubts....

Yup.I got a job...A bit far but i'll managed.Its been 4 mths since I last had a puff.Incredibly amazing indeed,It wasnt easy though considering i have been a smoker half my life.....But We did it..

Decisions,contemplations,procrastination

wedding in June next year or December next year.......haha..me and sweetie still cannot decide on when is it going to be.Honestly b,both is fine by me...December seems kind of ideal as it gives us more time to build on our foundation financially...hmm...June feels feasible enough considering the fact that I'm on track...so how b?u decide k.Coz I believe guys live by the motto "any delays would be most welcome".haha.....for most at least.I have always feel that 27 is the ideal age to get hitched....so either way is fine.I'll just have to make it come true by end of 2010 coz according to the woman,she'll pack up and leave if theres no wedding by then......Roger b...Next,a house.that's my first priority at this point of time.After much deliberation,we have decided to be more proactive in looking for a house coz I must agree that(being proactive) is lacking in abundance when it comes to choosing a house..........

Next........B,WHY CANT i RIDE?........I mean I seriously want to coz my next working place will be at loyang.The purpose is simply transportation.No hidden agenda...As usual,she will just brush the topic aside.....And there she goes again......

B, I'm thinking of buying the Lacoste shoes......

Random

Yup.I got a job.yes lah.........Its a bit to far but I guess its a matter of getting use to.Adaptability is the key.I rejected my first offer,delaying the 2nd one and hoping for the 3rd 1 to come.honestly,I'm feeling lucky but no complacency.Those tedious process paid off.I got retrenched on 6th of February,clinched a job on the 6th of March...hmm.........With the severance pay I got,I must say its a lucrative deal.....Alhamdullilah....B,I'm on track for our wedding plans k...insya-Allah.Watched Marley & Me wtih sweetie tearing by my side.......haha...Confession b..me too but mine are manly tears k b.........haha....hmm.The economic downturn is taking a toll on everyone...Truth is,Its scary..the thought of being employed today,possibility of getting retrench tomorrow.I mean,what can you really fall back on in such dire circumstances?qualifications?experience?.......My answer would be an answer, that was non existent before I met sweetie...........SAVINGS.....yes...my opinion.........savings.It certainly worked for me....

B,my birthday coming soon.....

I am a watch freak........Its still working but I just cannot resist the temptation...And a few hrs later,a new watch from 25 hrs....haha..B,why are u encouraging,u should have been that barricade pe......haiy.My jeans have never cost more that 50 bucks.That became history today,2nd march.I bought a new pair of Levis jeans for 110 bucks ah.shit.I have got to stop.Kan b?Sweetie offered to pay half as part of my Bdae gift....I relented after much deliberation..(dalam hati,baik ah b....thank u b....)Safety course commencing tomorrow....Im all set.I feel like a student ah.haha....SPH interview,Ban Yan Utilities interview,Airfoil Interview,and latest Prison Officer Interview.....Alhamdullilah......After almost 2 weeks of vigorous resume send outs.....I am finally reaping the benefits....yeah....I have always believe in acing every interview I get.Coz based on my grades,its almost impossible to see my potential(if any).....haha....Totally unjustifiable.but thats how it works.Im still working on it.Insya-Allah Ill get a job by end of march....Bdae wish...come,let us all pray and make my bdae wish come true......

Army Daze..........

haha.hilarious...And I thought maybe it'll be something along that line.....canoeing,rock climbing,flying fox,etc.I mean I didnt expect the camp to be smoooth sailing of course but hell yeah........culture shock..haha......yes I went for the OBS(outward bound Singapore) selection camp...I told myself OCS was it 4 me.As much as possible,Ill steer away from that chapter which I must admit was physically demanding....When I first step onto Pulau Ubin,it was Deja Vu.haha.........I mean I totally understand where they are coming from coz they want the best...Truthfully,I wasnt prepared but most importantly,I asked myself if this(being an OBS instructor) is what I want?or do I want to prove that im the best?etc.This is not a job.Its a lifestyle....A lifestyle which requires you to LOVE the sun,sand,sea.A lifestyle which requires you to stay on Pulau Ubin for most of the days in a year.etc.When I was in the tunnel(an exercise that requires you to stay in the tunnel for close to 1.5hrs),my thought was,is this what you really want?........guess not...half way through the camp,I left.I made my decision.I want to be there to kiss my kids on their forehead,spend time dozing off beside them even if its only for a few hours,ensure my wife gets a piece of me even if its to irritate me,etc...Thats how I want it to be......I would consider myself family oriented and that is a sacrifice I cannot make....hmm...But hey,guess what?at least I know its not for me.......haha.

sadistic me..........

Pipod has always been fed in such a way that she only needs minimal effort.......In case u are wondering who she is,shes my close to a year old arowana.I have this habit of putting the small live fishes into a plastic bag and then just slam it against any hard object before I actually let it fight for survival in Pipod's tank.haha..I know the name sounds idiotic but I wasn't the 1 who came up with it.It kind of sticked to her when my younger sister picked out the name at random.Purpose of doing so is to actually leave them ZERO chance for survival before they regain consciousness.........When she was barely 1mths old I use to cut off the small fishes tail so they wont able to swim that fast......I know it sounds really sadistic but hey,look at how the one eyed arowana turned out.Except for the fact that she's blinded in 1 eye and therefore swims in a unique slanted manner,she turned out healthy.......hmm.whats a relationship without arguments?Arguments are the essence of a relationship.It would be dull and boring to be in 1 without them.That thought just breeze through my head......haha.Anyway,another day has yet passed for the jobless man.....No more procrastination........I just signed myself up for Building & Construction Supervisors Safety Course.A course I've been eyeing but no time to execute.But its only in April so I hope I'll be preoccupied till then.Another certificate I'm hoping to acquire is Workplace safety & health.I'm still on the waiting list though......money,money,money....I thought maybe tomorrow I'll deviate my priority(manufacturing sector) and apply for other industries instead till the economy recovers which obviously wont be any time soon.Insya-Allah I'll clinched 1 soon......Life is tough but I'm tougher( Echo Wing,Perry Mok)

simply her..........

"B,no need to put coupon.Dekat town mane ade parking attendant".....a few steps later,100m away from my father's car,there stood that person that sweetie thought never existed in town,THE PARKING ATTENDANT.haha.....baik ah b.so much for trusting u......haha...Confession.I was on the verge of actually believing what u just said ah b till the parking attendant showed up.......hilarious.

"b,kita park skejap je kan.U on je hazard light.Confirm dorang tak saman.They'll understand".....In midst of that conversation,right in front of my very eyes,I witnessed the parking attendant slipping a parking ticket on a black swift,along the road with double yellow line,most importantly with THE HAZARD LIGHT ON.haha.damn farnie ah.Sweetie had her back facing what happened and so as usual she kept blabbering about how anal I was....When she saw the smirk on my face.....she stopped.....And I said"b,look behind u".haha.here we go again.So much for trusting u b.....Those were some of her bimbotic moments....As much as i wish to deny that I'm a bad influence when it comes to being a believer of "when you are confident,the battle is half won",to a minimal extent,I think its true.Let me reiterate the word minimal alright.The rest is purely u k b.

haha...........thank u for being you k b.Cliche..... but here goes,b, I love u because of your flaws,not despite your flaws.(quote from amazing race Asia)hahahaha...........Im definite not a philosophical kind of guy so when I actually sound philosophical,She'll go"yeah right.Where did u get that from?"anyway b,sometimes its original k b.swear.

ok.........here goes.....

1)I realised the importance of education a bit too late.I would say, its during my NS when I felt a sudden force landed smack right onto my face.A sign for me to get my life back on track.

2)I believe in progression.I resent stagnation.Regardless of how tiny the effort might be,make it count.Latest progression-Bought a laptop.then internet then online resumes.........see?tiny,insignificant actions=A new me.

3)Back then,when I was working in starbucks,I never thought this woman that I'm with would actually agree to go out with me.She was way out of my league.I still think so.haha

4)My room is like a pig sty.or should i say a pig sty is like my room..haha.Im not complaining.

5)I try really hard to make an impression when it comes to my gf's father whom I refer to as the general(he somehow reminds me of those high ranking officers who never fail to make me change course just to avoid unnecessary complications) coz we seldom talk and the only genuine conversations I had with the general is when I got his daughter into an accident and when I crashed his 2.4,super huge,damn comfy camry....haha.so much for making an impression.haha

6)I am beginning to feel the heat of saving up for a wedding....swear.(however,I am still on course though)

7)I am suffering from periodic limb movement disorder.(PLMD)Its when u make sudden jerking movements when u are sleeping.I do.........though its only my assumption.

8)I love stationery and I can easily splurge 20,30 bucks at popular for something I don't really need.(the spending escalates when shes not around)

9)I know I cant sing but I do it coz somehow deep down,I think it sounds more or less pleasant.I pray that SHE shares the same sentiments but her honest comments really hurt my feelings.....haha......tak tau malu......(I get the words jumbled up and I dont really care)I attribute this to my philosophy-when u are confident,the battle is half won.

10)PUNCTUALITY.I hate it when SHEs late.But she really doesn't care.Does she?

11)I would never have bothered to take my driving licence if she had not pestered me to do so..she'll go..if u ade lesen kan bagus.boleh use my father nye 2nd car........and trust me,its like a non stop template.(b,u are the god of directions but pls k b........when it comes to driving intuition,I'm the boss k b)

12)my current bed sheet, believe or not, is Barney.My mum was the culprit.

13)I am particularly anal when it comes to washing my own clothes.Coz I hate it when they go missing.So I wash them myself every day.haha.....its worth it.

14)I would consider the thesaurus I bought 5 years ago when I met her, a cheap yet fruitful investment.

15)We don't celebrate Valentines Day and my reason would be..........-b,everyday is like a valentines day with u b....-haha

16)I don't mind spending on her but I'll contemplate spending the same amount on myself.

17)I am close to 4 mths smoke free.yay....Though I still have this habit of stashing aside money mthly for my then smoking habit.I bought my laptop using the stashed cash...cool huh....

18)I believe in exploring vices but theres 1 that I dare not indulge myself in,tattooing.

19)The tongue piercing I got was coz some1 told me Ill make a good kisser.......haha.Till now.I'm not sure whether its true.

20)I used to wear my pants super high till secondary 3 when It felt out of place.

21)I took pure chemistry In secondary school just becoz I thought the teacher was hot.

22)I talk nonsense just when I'm about to fall asleep.

23)I hope to own a car,HONDA CIVIC Type R when I'm 27.

24)I am training my arowana silver to be a commando as he/she has gone 3 days without Food.

25)Truth is,I love Nadiah Bte Mis'Ari for everything that she have done,did,will be doing for ............5 years and counting.....She pushes all the right buttons...Hope it stays in present tense....

Insomnia.........0300hrs....

B,I have never been someone who is strong mentally despite what Ive been through.Confession,when I got retrenched,I was devastated.What kept me, or shall I say who kept me going was u b.I mean,seriously,get it over and done with lah.But thats just me ah b.I find it extremely difficult to let go of stuff that u can, within a heartbeat.Truth is,at times I admire,envy u for your strong character.Mentally?without a doubt.Physically?yeah right?(u nie lembik ah b)I know I can be difficult at times especially now that Im unemployed.See what I mean.haha.....Future seems bleak for future job seekers.Or is it just me?haha......5 days and counting......Hmm...at least 3 weeks on average till they get back to me if im shortlisted,2 weeks for hr to process.so, that will take about 1 mth to be realistic.B,you'll be ok.The swelling eye will subside provided u take the medicine given to u k b.Though I must admit,it looked pretty bad.Anyway that vain attempt of trying to somehow cover the temporary defect on part of your face was innovative yet lame.haha......And u r not a doctor.I, can self medicate coz it works for me.Not u k b.Not now at least.In 2 days time if there is still no progress then ill take u to the doctor myself.........we'll see how it goes k b.

Light At The End Of The Tunnel?

Yup...Everyday seems like a routine.Resumes after resumes.Met my target 2day.Sweetie commented on my English....hmm...Lets see.The last time i blogged was like approximately 1 year ago(i malas ah b nak check spelling) when I was then working as a CCPE.I was too free then I guess.Anyway b, your command of English way surpasses mine in every aspect.Not even comparable k b.So "Jgn compare".haha.......Thought of checking BCA website but was to preoccupied with sending out resumes.Trust me,its not easy especially, for some1 like me.At the moment,ill just hope and pray that ill get a job soon coz im dreading every moment.B,nk gi holiday?

Resumes,resumes,tonnes of resumes

I didnt expect it would be this tiring to send out resumes after resumes.I am determined to send out at least 3 resumes a day.So far mission accomplished.IPPT is like a month away.Any1 who have seen me recently will tell you i am nowhere near ready.........haha.And so 1 event leads to another.Wedding plans is on hold.Sorry baby.The economy is really bad.I wonder what gonna happen in future.The only consolation i get is, the earlier I get retrenched,the more jobs there are out there......haha.What rubbish.Some part of me wishing it was true.B,you are good ah b with computers but like what I always say,have been saying.will always say,-The goalkeeper is good because you make the goalkeeper look good-haha......Coz I really suck ah when it comes to computers.I know it doesn't take one to be IT savvy to know what you know b but its me......God is fair i guess coz in a while im blogging bout me,you,hp,singtel.........Does it ring a bell b?haha.farnie

I just came out from the cave.........Resurrection...

As requested b.And yes its about time.I just bought myself a cheap,hopefully reliable lappie.Its a RETRENCHMENT gift for myself.And yes you heard it right.I just got retrenched.Apparently their retrenchment policy is to axe newcomers.So here I am,25 years of age,jobless.I'm hoping to land myself a job in 3 to 4 mths time.I hope its a realistic enough goal.Im just disappointed its not based on performance.......haha.Im sure if its based on that,Ill stand a better chance.(like real)Received my severance pay of about $$$$.And guess what?Im like 10 days away from a year of service ah........haiy.But I must agree ah.Its good money while it lasted.............